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Apparently, as I have no idea what the hell I’m doing with the rest of my life and I finish this degree in less than three months’ time, instead of thinking about my future I’m returning to my past.

Tonight I have talked with my housemate about school trips to Shoreham Airport, Tesco bakery and Blackland Farm activity centre, watched a video of someone playing the first level of Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer, and decided that maybe teaching would be a good job after all; it’s what everyone used to think I would grow up to be when I was little.

I am absolutely fine with this. I will deal with my future when I am ready to. Which is certainly not now. And seemingly not any time soon.

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Pretty sure that any argument I make in my upcoming exams will not be legitimate, and will be simply able to be explained away by the phrase “student did not understand this properly” or “criticism of thing not being there irrelevant as it does exist, student just didn’t know about it”

oh well, only 54 percent needed Curtis.

keep your brainpower on that.

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I want to buy lots of special mugs and leave them everywhere I go regularly, at friends’ and relatives’ houses  so every time I visit someone, everywhere I go, I have a special mug and feel super special.

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Well I was really smart to wait till 2am to listening to this incredible German electronic pop album I just bought, wasn’t I.

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I’m sitting in my kitchen watching porn on full volume in just my boxers.

I love being home alone.

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I can finally see life after the essay!

I’ve finally found a resource I can use, I’m working well and have lots to look forward to. I’ve even got a list of ‘things to do once you’ve vanquished the essay’ written.

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i HATE winter already. and it’s still Autumn. This shit is all fuelling my desires to get shit tonnes of money and/or move to a country where winter is like a blip in the normally warm temperatures.

I’m 100% ill today so therefore am having a ‘personal day’. So far I’ve managed drink coffee (half a mug) and move to the living room with my duvet cover, pillows and laptop, including Gilmore Girls DVD, and have found out what kind of ramen I am courtesy of Wagamama. I’ve been up for an hour. That’s all I’ve done. Seriously tempted to order Wagamama straight to my door, though. Chicken noodle soup is great when you’re ill.

What I really need is my Mum to come over (it’s only a 2.5 hour journey the morning after a big storm where loads of trees have blown down and roads are blocked and next to no trains are running across the whole South Coast) and buy me galaxy and Lucozade from the Co-op in Sheddingdean, and watch telly with me, asking me if it’s okay if she can put an episode of Coronation Street or Loose Women on every hour or so like she did when I was little.

Sad.

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i should stop eating blue cheese and watching bbc four programmes on iPlayer at quarter past one in the morning when I have early morning lectures the following day…

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A less than cheerful read more.

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today i was reminded of how much work I do to maintain good mental health and that it’s basically a part time job. THAT’S why I don’t ever get much uni work done.

I want to watch ALL THE TV SERIES and snuggle with ALL THE PETS but instead I am eating lame veggie shepherd’s pie-ish thing and doing German translation prep and just basically ugh.

also, some light TMI

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literally my shopping list is:

lube

mortadella

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tonight, I have truly discovered German language rap and hip-hop and I am in some kind of heaven.